you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
