return my video game
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
