The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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