That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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