In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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