My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
