At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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