i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
