Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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