In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
