Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
