At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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