FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
