Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
