i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
