Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize