I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
