good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
