Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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