I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
