My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
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