it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
