Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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