I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
as a side note pls kill me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
