hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
