Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize