I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
