her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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