direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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