What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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