You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
