Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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