so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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