I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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