Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
