im six kinds of drunk right now
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
