I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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