Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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