Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
May the power of my ass compel you!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
