he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
