doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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