if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
