if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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