You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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