Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
