i permit you to call me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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