you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
