Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
