I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize