The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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