I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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