One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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