i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
