They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
