this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
