he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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