Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
