He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
