Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
