Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
