you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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