I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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