i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
