Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
